FEELING OF A LIFETIME!

My friends always ask why each of my posts related or referenced to Bollywood or movies..but coming from land of Amitabh bachchans and SRKs and Rajnis..its definitely fair for me to do that..after all that’s exactly how we see life in India..live that life..relate things happening in life..express our feelings way some actor would have done it…from posing like the DCH trio to the biking  stunts of Devgan movies we always love living the short life of being someone”else”.Dont know why..blame it on my inheritance or just environment I grew in..the incidents which I could connect with movies I always did my best with them…be it mouthing the words or throwing actions at hitherto..i just loved expressing  myself like “REEL LIFE” characters..TODAY too I feel like the same..yeah yeah..first try connecting the following…Salman s character in second half of maine pyaar kiya…Anil Kapoor s in Ram Lakhan..Shashi Kapoor in Deewar one scene which is common in all  these movies..come on!!!! for the “new movie” crowd I give  another cue…Ranbir in Wake Up Sid..Got it? Or still not??

Well today wat makes me happy and wat makes me scream out this mail,  is the joy which individuals in the above movies blended themselves in..Call it the first salary or in the filmy terms “Mere mehnet ki pehli Kamai”..doesn it feel truly satisfying when u know that u ve achieved something materialistic ; but above everything  this materialistic thing is something that somehow defines ur success in this petty imperialistic world…I know it’s not the figure of the “kamai” that runs in our mind..but the very sense of achievement which makes us happy!!I still remember when I watched Maine Pyaar Kiya on Television playing the video cassette on the VCR(those days Cassettes were a major craze!!)The scene where in Salman returns after a tiresome truck ride fighting the goons and collects his first salary which is peanuts compared to his father s wealth..what gets him moving is the feeling that I have learnt something today..that earning my own food is the most realistic success in life…The transition of this very scene in movies is again worth observing..70’s and 80’ s movies had Police Officer as their premier job which the hero achieves after going lots of pain and humiliation..but then came Wake Up Sid…a cool and unnerved Ranbir walks out of house only to accidently think of a job of photographer for a magazine and later achieving success in it..There goes the transition from a police officer who fights the vengeful thugs to a photographer who lives and lets live…And yay the scene where he leaves his father moist eyed is when he places his first salary and says he s learnt to live finally!

From a long time I always used to ask my cousin s and sibling how it feels to an “OWN” bank account with “OWN” money in it..They replied talking about the security and future jazz..but I feel theres more to it..which a human cant express even by most uncommonly humane expressions..Because just like the first cycle ride…first touch of friendship…first cry of joy..FIRST SALARY is something which has its own meaning and importance..When I asked my frenz what they plan to do with their first salary,  all of them had plans..even I have my own..what joins us all together is the feeling that will run in our heart tonite; before going to sleep ”today I got my first salary!!”

What actually made them “TICK”le!

Last afternoon when i came back home after a sumptous lunch and desert with my cousins i was thinking as i how i could spend my rest of the noon and evening.No good movies left to watch in theatre.As i surfed through the channels of my TV set i found 2 channels which were airing movies which i thought were best of what i could get that time.The movies that were being played were Hero No.1 and Raja Babu.I hardly could bring our any difference in starcast of both the movies.Comprising of Govinda,Karisma,Shakti Kapoor and veterans like Kader Khan,
Himani Shivpuri, Aruna Irani and the long list of David Dhawan regulars.What made me thinking after i finished both these movies was something strange..Inspite of being panned by “CRITICS” and dismissed as NON-SENSE by pundits what was present in these movies which made them tick also tickle the audience’ ribs?

Everything about these movies is so casual and upright.No sensitive camera angles, no tailspin screenplay, spunky out of the world dialogues.One of the dialogues which still make me laugh out loud is when Govinda hums..”Tere ishq mein kya kya nahin kiya Meena..Kabhi bana kutta kabhie kameena”There was something unusual in those movies all the time.Be it the whacky script..out of the world gags..peppy songs with lyrics penned during a boring hindi
class in school..the spunky characters who were just perfect in their roles!!

Come on!Just listen to this lyrics…”maine paidal se ja raha tha, unhe cycle se aa rahee thee kiya ting ting kaa ishara mujhe badnam kiya naa..maine cycle se ja raha tha, unhe tamtam se aa rahee thee kiya tan tan kaa ishara mujhe badnam kiya naa”..ha ha cant believe apart from lip synching the actors even managed to dance to these songs..in their own style!Another song which i remember the most singing is the one from Rajaji..”Sunday ki raat thi..pehli mulaakat thi”..i agree penning such a line is not a great deal but what should actually be seen is the valour with which the makers use it in a movie.

How can we talk about these movies and not talk about the costumes.Be it Govinda s yellow jacket in Sona kitna sona hai..or Shakti s open naada in Raja Babu..or even Govinda s tapori costume in Dulhe Raja..All of these just blow ur mind up and u think, well bollywood talks about being stylish..Yes it does talk about it!!Another interesting thing which i
like to say is about the song in Coolie No 1 “husn hai suhaana ishq hai deewaana” In which the actress’ dress changes every frame!!Check out the Youtube video for more..

The David Dhawan team made around 28 movies with ALMOST the same actors..out of these 17 were successful!Most of the 28 made a cost recovery business considering the investment in these movies.Infact these movies still gather a TRP higher than some hard-hitting recent movies on movie channels..Isn the answer SIMPLE..these movies inspite of their awkwardness clicked and tickled the audience’s ribs!

Ashwath

Just a li’l Feeling

When I stepped into my college yesterday after a period of 4 months i was more or less looking at finishing my work and viewing a cultural extravaganza and then heading back home.I did not know that this journey would take me so deep down the lane that it would give me a tinge of self actualization. As I stepped into the entrance of the front foyer my ears were filled by the same hustle which I have been feeling from past 4 years.The colourful brouchures were still stuck on the notice board which I used read every day to check what new opportunity it had in store for me.I continued walking towards my department in a newly constructed link which led me to my department.Every step I took made me rewind and think..”I was here once…I stood there chatting with my frenz…I fulfilled my debating pleasures there for 3 long years”.Then I saw the people around me..which ever place I went..was happy to get a smile from them..Specially the librarian under whose watchful eyes I studied during exams..who used to caution me about of cell phones in the library.He told me he often misses seeing me in the corner of the library fidgeting with the photocopied text books and staying in the library till he finally shut the door at 10:50 night.Then I started moving towards my department to meet my teachers there.They all warm heartedly asked me about how my life in the corporate world was going.Then came something which I was excited the most about.For quite sometime I had never witnessed a function purely as a spectator in my department.Some or the other way I would be associated with it, knowing the whole plot before.

 

The moment I entered the hall where the function was being conducted it took me back to the first time this cultural extravaganza was conducted on a large scale in the department in this very hall.I remember quite a bit of struggle convincing the content and quality was upto the mark so that it could be showcased to the audience of different age groups and ideals.I remember the long sessions I had with my team in discussing what take away will every group of audience have.There  was a conscious effort to transform it into an experience from a  program for the audience.I remember being the host of the event, making sure all the nitty grittys of the event was sealed perfectly.Before writing this blog I remember look at all the photos of the event.It was absolutely fabulous.

 

As the event began I could see my own team in the current organizing committe members faces.The person in-charge of the food coupons..the person who was managing the logistics..the hosts juggling with last minute changes in the program.As it continued I could see the energy, enthusiasm and the freshness brought into the organization by the current committee.They carefully had planned out every single details of the event from seating arrangement to the discipline management.The whole program with its diverse nature conquered many hearts.From the gracious kathak sequence Kahe  ched from Devdas to the solo Mike Jackson performance, it truly was high on its standard.The unique prayer number Ek tu hi Bharosa was quite a fresh whiff breaking the trend from religious rendering which I never favoured.The indo-western dance sequence of songs Chalka re and other foot tapping numbers was absolutely brilliantly choreographed.Another noteworthy mention was the dance sequence of south cult-punjabi mix which was told to me was performed with minimal practice.One thing I felt about the song sequences was that with minimal music the songs could be much more soothing, this is because of the not so-good acoustics the hall has.And moreover the our beloved principal speaking about the formation of the whole student organization truly made the recap all improvisations organization had undergone in the years I was a part of it.The band as usual was brilliant with its performance.On the whole the show was an amazing experience for me as a spectator who had come expecting nothing short of what I saw.I would like to say that what the organizers showed us is the all that’s needed to make a show successful is integrated effort from the whole team keeping all personal hassles at bay.

 

When I left the college to get back home I often kept thinking how this attachment with my college, department has grown even stronger after I have graduated.I still keep searching for myself sometimes.May be I am still there…in the seminar halls…on the LHC stairs…benches near the department..corridors.. the front foyer..or may be in the old  canteen which I don’t see now…

 

Ashwath



MERA HERO NO.1!

What is common between Dev Anand, Shammi Kapoor, Rajesh Khanna, Rajinikanth, Amitabh Bachchan, Aamir Khan, Shah Rukh Khan?

They are all not just individual superstars but first a HERO.

The other day I offered my watchman a couple of spare tickets for a newly released hindi film. First thing he asked me before accepting the offer “bhaiya hero kauuun hain“.

Hero today is synonymous with stars or rather superstars. But do we know the reason why? Actors don’t become Stars overnight. What’s makes a star out of an actor is his ability to play the Hero meticulously and consistently. The secret of superstars or rather Heroes is that they qualify and deliver to certain expectations from the audience. So what’s the definition of a ‘HERO’?

To understand it in simple terms lets break it up… H-E-R-O

H: Histrionics
Film is a derived medium of entertainment. Derived largely from theatre, which was existent since centuries. Theatre is about acting live in front of several people who watch the performance from various distances and angles. Therefore the actors have to give a highly charged and melodramatic presentation to engage the audience. This charged and larger than life, showmanship got absorbed by cinema so much so that it has become an integral part of its bloodstream. Actors employ the audience’s attention with their ability to exhibit various emotions credibly through their screen characters. In Bollywood especially we have great actors who have played different shades of drama, romance, comedy and action in the same film within the same character width. Histrionics is when the actors emotionally absorb the audience and keep them awestruck with their onscreen charm and chutzpah. Histrionics thus becomes one of the most important components of a Hero’s identity.

E: Empathy
To empathize with, literally means to identify with. We all have the desire to become heroes in our own right. Like Dale Carnegie put it, “All human actions are out of the sex urge or the desire to be great.” Thus it’s easy to identify with heroes who are in pursuit of achievements that make them larger than life. The conflicts created in the story act as stumbling blocks and put the Hero in distress time and again. The vulnerability in the Hero moves the audience and thus they love to empathize with him since in reality we all are crammed with vulnerabilities. Heroes use their might and will to overcome these hindrances both external and internal and rise to glory.

R: Root for
Often Films flop because though crafted with various cinematic dynamics as the audience fails to identify who the Hero of the Film is. The audience invests in a movie with the desire to root for their Hero. Yet at times the Hero is either motiveless or ill defined. Thus the audience after sitting through the whole saga comes out feeling empty as they couldn’t identify with the protagonist or worst, there was nobody to root for. Take any sport where spectators love to cheer and follow their sport star, since they believe in him and want him to win. Likewise the movie buffs root for their Hero, want to see him overcome all obstacles, win the heart of his beloved, outwit the archrival, overpower the villains paraphernalia and save the world just in the nick of time. That’s when the audience walks out of the cinema hall breathless, yet with a feeling of being on cloud nine… All because the Hero they rooted for didn’t let them down.

O: Outstanding
The journey of the hero has to be outstanding. Nobody wants to see a hero who starts as a milkman at the beginning of the film and remains so without any remarkable achievements. But the audience would love to see a milkman who gets hit by a truck and then he wakes up in the hospital with the divine ability of being able to read people’s minds… Now we are talking. A hero cannot be mundane and boring. Likewise he doesn’t have to necessarily be flashy or superhuman. Most importantly it’s his journey in the film that is extra?ordinary.

Two small time thieves are hired to kill a big dacoit in order to avenge the mass murder of a Policeman’s family, in pursuit they find their soul mates but lose out on their partnership since one of them dies – Sholay. An ordinary student with creative skills walks into a university, finds his soul mate, helps couple of his friends find their real purpose, pranks with a bookworm, teaches an arrogant professor not only how to educate others but also how to lead a truly successful and meaningful life, and ultimately ends up following his passion, with the world chasing him? 3 Idiots.

Heroes are not necessarily always larger than life in their looks or getup. It’s their deeds, their attitude and their achievements in the screen story that makes them idols to die for. Heroes are nothing but incredible journeys of struggle and triumph that deep down everyone of us wants to experience on a day to day basis.

When everything just got “Ambitious”

As the ice made a cracking sound in his wine glass…and amidst the singing of an old classic of Rafi Saab whose words went this way..”Main Zindagi Ka Saath Nibhata Chalagaya”.. the now not so famous pub Zinga was not as crowded as it would be on the weekends..it was still occupied by retired men who often told stories of their ambitions and achievements..with a heavy pair of spectacles planted on his forehead he looked up at the paper infront of him and shut his eyes..

It was 11 in the morning and Anirudh hadn yet come for the final session of script writing..As the door moved apart..he came in with a satisfying smile on his face..and very soon his assistant and best friend  Vishwas knew that Anirudh had the climax of the script ready in his head..and writing it was only a mere formality..this mere formality ate up whole of the afternoon and evening that is because Anirudh was very particular about this story he was writing..His cell kept ringing and beeping but he never bothered to distract himself from the work he was doing.At around 9, the session was over and finally the he had a looked at his cell where he had a list of missed calls and messages stating..Where u? when u coming? Are we meeting today? Der? U der? Why not picking up??Reply back asap!!!As soon as he pressed the green button of his cellphone he knew the explanation had to be a near perfect one..so perfect that he would be able to pull off a sorry for not wishing his lady love Aisha on his birthday..Its true they were dating from about 4 years..but still what made them come so close to each other was the trust they had on each other..And yeah everyone around knew that this was a perfect match..He a young dashing promising movie maker and she a soon to be marketing and advertising executive.

Just after the script had been completed the big meet was on cards..meet with the producers..Anirudh knew that if this story excited his producers to back him up fully then there was no stopping  for him..His maiden venture into direction after years of theatre would be a magnum opus in itself..he could also sign the best of stars to act..best musician and infact look out for the kind of locations he wanted for his movie..With his amazing sense of film-making and art of convincing  he was able to sign of a deal with the producers for more budget than actually needed..but it had a catch..they were very particular about the release date of the movie..As the producers followed a host of numerologists and tarot card readers, they absolutely had no mercy if the release date of the movie was changed..Anirudh assured them that he himself was a man on time who wanted his movie no to get stale with extension of each release date..he had seen best of movies tumble for the same reason…He told them, “I am ambitious..and completing it is my passion” as they dispersed for a session of drinks.

Following weekend Anirudh spent with Aisha..they always had the kind of conversations which came down to simplicity, professionalism, competition, humanity, relations and of course ambitions!At the end of the day they still knew that their commitment towards their relation never had any bruises on it..From their early graduation days where he scripted and directed college plays and she danced to the latest beats..they knew wat exactly they wanted from life…She had stood beside him during the days where he was almost jobless..roamed around the studios with his ideas and stories..at the end of the day came back to her frustrated..tired..more over depressed in life..he too had given her life a new whiff of air with his presence..if not anyone in this world..he knew exactly what would make her happy when she was sad..what would make her calm down if she s angry and what to do if she just felt left out sometimes…with the period of time their relation had grown..and thus come to this day when she was waiting for her studies to get over and he for his dream project to work out just well.

Soon Anirudh  had to leave the city for his film shoot..Aisha did come to bid adieu but she had promised to herself not to make her eyes moist in front of everyone..she just hugged him before he left..left to make his movie..realize his dream..more over chase his ambitions of life.

Film shoot started off fine with his assistant friend Vishwas making everything just perfect.During the shoot Anirudh would hardly eat or sleep..he used to keep looking at the rushes..rewriting the dialogues..if not anything sharing his famous love story of how he and Aisha were almost caught in a restaurant by her father once in their college days!One afternoon while shooting Vishwas came to Anirudh  to tell him that recession had lashed its fangs at the entertainment industry too…with producers who also were active at the share markets losing money in loads..they were all set to remove a considerable amount of money from the decided deal..Which only meant Anirudh needed to find producer who could fill that void for him..as he had already planned a 3 month long stint of film shooting with all glamour and glitz sets.

That night he had a conversation  with Aisha on phone..on how grave the problem was..Immediately after that Vishwas came to his room and told him how he could do his best in this matter..Vishwas was the son of a wealthy steel factory owner who had joined film-making because he found offices and clock ticks from 9 to 5 too boring in life..Some how if he convinced his father who was a shrewd business man..all problems would be put at bay..Anirudh agreed to the solution and soon Vishwas came back with the happy news..But there was one small trade off here too..Vishwas’ father had right to intervene in everything except the content and quality of the movie..What more than a large share interest can he ask for..thought Anirudh..and continued his movie shoot…During the shoot once Aisha called him up to tell that had taken up a job at an advertising agency as its consultant in media section.They both felt like meeting up and celebrating but he was too pushed for time now..had to complete the movie in time for post production and editing.

After 2 months of no contact with Aisha , Anirudh and his team returned back to the city with the first editable print of his dream.Now the next step of advertising and marketing was the main cue…On a Thursday evening Anirudh got a call from a premier advertising firm which the now executive producer his best friend s father had suggested them that they were not interested in promoting his movie.They declared some fundamental policy issues as their reason…here s where Vishwas’ dad creeped in..he informed that he would continue investing for post production and promotion only if the advertising was done by the company which had rejected the deal..as it was the best..Little did Anirudh know that dirty business politics was being played making his dream the pawn…The alternative ad company was run by rivals of Vishwas’ company..so if they would lose this deal, they would be under heavy loss as the primary deal was finalized long back with it…The following day Anirudh went to meet the officials incharge of the ad company which had rejected the deal…He was amazed to see a confident Aisha sitting on the consultant s desk who would now be talking to Anirudh..Without much hesitation she said “ Mr.Anirudh…I am trying my best to convince our directors but they don’t want any risk over this issue..”..They soon broke down the formal barriers and started talking normally..ofcourse he knew how to win her back..knowing she was annoyed with him for not being in touch…Finally knowing the problem Anirudh had , she agreed to get him this deal somehow..When the other advertising company with whom the deal was called off, came to know of a young consultant who was just snatching the deal away from them.the were searching for means to stump the whole deal..But they did not know that scaring the producers would withdraw Anirudh had also bribed the directors of the ad agency..Aisha had warned him from doing so as she was sure she could get him this deal by fair means..but this was Anirudh s ambition..his dream..he couldn risk it…Unaware of all this dirt, Vishwas was on his editing job along with dubbing schedules..the media just provided more hype to fight between two ad moghuls rather than the movie and its storyline…Finally the movie was ready with its first print and time had come now to give it to Aisha s ad agency who would now look at the movie and think out ways to promote the movie..That evening Anirudh and Vishwas went together to Aisha s office and handed over the print..She told him, she would be free in an hour and so he could pick her up and take her out for dinner as promised by him.Both Anirudh and Vishwas waited in a coffee shop nearby watching a news channel and talking about how market was now expected to boom..After his fourth sip of hot expresso..Anirudh saw the TV which was now showing a building going down to flames..He was shocked when he realized that it was Aisha s office building which was sprouting flames from all sides..

In the hospital Anirudh sat beside Aisha who had suffered 40% burns on her body..by now he had come to know the rivalry between agencys had been responsible and in this fire;  his dream, his movie print had been stolen and news was that it had been leaked online for free..What he wished now was his relation to survive after his ambition had been out in flames..which had also burnt his relation…The rival agency in wake of their loss had ruined his whole life..After a week Aisha was now fit to walk around and discharged from the hospital..Anirudh told Aisha that he had found a job a job for himself at the film institute in another country and so would be joining there after their marriage..Vishwas was nowhere to be found in this whole mishap..Anirudh wondered what had happen to him..He tried going to his house a few times but never managed to see him..That weekend both of them got married and shifted to the quarters given to him by the institute…No one knew where Anirudh and Aisha had gone..they had kept the whole thing a secret between themselves..Even the media was quite surprised as where the young director and his girl friend had fled…The news slowly shifted from the first to second page..second to third and then was lost one day in numerous similar stories.

As Anirudh opened his eyes and stared at the paper which had his friend Vishwas’ acceptance speech at an award function which had concluded recently for having won the best director award…Vishwas in his speech had mentioned about his search for Anirudh..about how his father had him sent off to far off place for a business deal just after the fire incident..and how he could not meet Anirudh later in his life…Anirudh had not seen the movie still which had won his best friend and award….he had only heard from his students that movie talked about “Ambitions in a person’s life…very same Ambition!!”

Ashwath

“THEY” were indeed filmy!Thats why spl!!

These days after i have come down to spend sometime with my family in belgaum, i have been stuck on to loads of movies which i grew up watching..After i watched about 8-10 in last 3 days i d say i miss them a lot!!

There was something very special about them..Imagine Sunny Deol walking through a dark street hunting for his brother in Ghayal…Or Jackie Shroff playing the typical honest cop in Khalnayak..i would say this is what made these total “filmy”..I feel components like these have been completely lost in the recent times…i am not saying the current trend of Abhay Deol walking drunk in Dev D is bad..its conventional in itself..but the kind of movies which made me whistle, hoot,  scream are long lost i d say…

Not only the dramatic entry/exits of heroes..but even the storyline of movies has undergone a massive change..Those revenge filled movies of 90’s which had a kind of entertainment qoutient attached to them made the audience glued to seats from start to end..One of most eventful movies i d say was Ram Lakhan..Rakhee the widow who s husband was killed by Amrish Puri n co..preserves the blood stained saree along with ashes of her husband till her sons have sought revenge from the villain.. such kind of dramatic statements no longer exist in todays cinema..Nowadays we hardly see such a story line in movies..Its ideally about an NRI with a house bigger than Buckingham palace but still head strong about culture as if he s the last living candidate who s only job is to adhere to his family traditions!!

Another important aspect which i feel missing in today s movies is the unique style quotients of actors/actresses…Like the audience went berserk when they saw madhuri dixit wear her typical long frocks and round earrings and dance in rain…Likewise be it Anil Kapoor s typical One 2 Ka Four step with his arms swinging which i guess is the only move his choreographer made him perfect at so that he could repeat it in his almost all his movies!Now theres a wave of versatility which everyone wants to get sunk it..which has resulted in loss of identity of actors and increased the popularity of the roles they play..Very simple example..before  Sunny Deol would be mimicked the way he spoke in front of screen  keepin the role aside…but now everyone recognizes the character more than the actor who played it…

Obviously i feel its a gradual process of bringing in quality and sophistication into a movie keeping in mind the technicalities..but as a movie buff who still prefers a Subhash Ghai classic rather than a Anurag Kashyap anti-cliche or KJo candy floss..i would say wheres the “filmy” part in our movies now!!Why s everything turning so “real”!!!

Ashwath

Dont know why!!

Past few days have been quite amazing for me..my bday..my frenz..trust me one of the dream phases of my life..after almost getting graduated feels like a relieved individual who is waiting for his next phase of life begin..this entry of mine would be quite random i feel, just like of those art movies which run at the same pace for 2-3 hours having moments of silence after a dialogue has been uttered.The question which a viewer asks at the end of the movie is “DONT KNOW WHY!!!” the movie was made…this post of mine too would be a perfect example for the same.

I remember as a kid listening to the story of Tennis Legend Monica Seles getting stabbed..I infact once also watched the recorded match in which she was stabbed..when we talk about this whole incident of Seles getting stabbed..there can be multiple ways a stab can be realised..one can be of type that stabber is unable to sustain the success of the person whom he stabs..and in the other case he act would benefit his/her close aide..On April 30 during a quarterfinal match with Magdalena Maleeva in Hamburg in which Seles was leading 6–4, 4–3, Günter Parche, an obsessed fan of Steffi Graf, ran from the middle of the crowd to the edge of the court during a break between games and stabbed Seles with a boning knife between her shoulder blades, to a depth of 1.5 cm (.59 inches). Parche admitted that he stabbed Seles to help Graf regain the No.1 ranking. She was quickly rushed to a hospital. Although her physical injuries took only a few weeks to heal, she did not return to competitive tennis for more than two years.

Parche was charged following the incident but was not jailed because he was found to be psychologically abnormal rather the system made him look that way and was instead sentenced to two years’ probation and psychological treatment. The incident prompted a significant increase in the level of security at tour events. Seles vowed never to play tennis in Germany again, criticising the German legal system. “What people seem to be forgetting is that this man stabbed me intentionally and he did not serve any sort of punishment for it… I would not feel comfortable going back. I don’t foresee that happening.”

This very decision of Seles of not playing in Germany would have cost her few grand slams but her protest was valid…When theres a physical stab already which has brought so much of pain on the outer part..Imagine when a legal system stabs how could be the pain..Its somethin that shakes the person from within not knowing whether the world around ever did an account of what we deserved and and what he got…But worse part is yet to come..when a such an act is churned out with diplomacy and touch of shrewedness the pain hits you even harder..So at the end there is no option left..to remember  the whole incident is not possible coz your left with no time when you forget about it…So its better to just avoid the situations to the best of your abilities and see the stab doesn occur again..and again why i am i writing all this…the name of the post says it all…

Not so dirty,

Ashwath

My fear..had never seen it so deep..and so close..

I remember it was a Thursday evening and it was quite a dull day or may be i felt it was dull because whole day i was busy bidding good-bye to my relatives in my home town Belgaum.For a person who has stayed in a place for 18 years the bonding is pretty a strong one.Although my decision of pursuing an engineering course shook many of my relatives and family friends; the choice of choosing MS Ramaiah Institute of Technology Bangalore was also an equally a shocker of a news from a guy who s father who is the chairman of a 30 bed hospital in the city.But somehow it was quite a digestible one because my non medical inclinations were very much evident.

I reached Bangalore the next day and waited 2 more days for my Mom to come over to help me get settled in the hostel.And thus begun my journey which i never knew would change my life so much and mould me into a person which i am today writing this blog entry.Certainly from my thinking to the rationality of my decisions everything has undergone massive evolution and changes.Atleast for the past one year i was living a dream of a lifetime in this college.From being a part of team which won the VTU Annual fest to visiting Oxford UK for a debate and not to forget the first time i tried behaving like an engineer by carrying a project under Mam.Time just flew off doing various activities like tech fests..organizing department events and moreover being with friends.

About 15 days ago i heard Mam telling me that she wanted to meet the current department students committee to plan events for this semester; and among those events she mentioned our FAREWELL.At first i didn think much about it; but suddenly i went through a time which i feel is the worst of my fears in my lifetime.That evening as i was returning from college to my room i happen to stay in the empty college canteen for sometime.I sat there for about an hour glimpsing at a flash back of  my college life.First time i got my sem results…first batch trip with friends..time when i failed for the first time in my exams..when i felt lost in crowd..the whole new family i got here in form of my hostel…when i got my first job!Most of all a thought came in which happen to kill all the processes present in my brain.What next in life? Here in college i had a lifestyle..i knew people here..i had a guide who used to help me take steps..friends who used to be around when i needed them..i could live a life which i had dreamt of while coming to Bangalore.And soon all of this was going to end soon.I could no longer have those lazy chats in classes with olive,poo,dhar and ani…no ultra active debates with my debsoc…no more organizing department events which i loved so much…moreover no college life which my body and mind had got so used to and just couldn think anything like coming out of it.I still remember that night i neither could have my dinner nor sleep well and slowly i started sinking in the greatest fear of my life.I began thinking about it almost everytime  i was idle and thanks to just 3 days of class it just builded up.With me imprisoned in deep thoughts of this fear frustration crept in and my insecurities just crawled into my life.Dont know my replies and attitude towards everything in life changed.Soon the questions also increased..How would be my job? Would my boss treat me same way as my guide here? would i ever get a chance to do things that i loved..organize..debate..public speak.friends..win…in short live the dream which i was doing till now!!Whole of this continued for a week or two..i just couldn do anything nor did i know why was i so irritated in life..i would plant myself in front of the comp and watch movies at a stretch..or just shut my eyes and sleep away to glory unaware of the world around.But slowly i guess this fear is vanishing because i certainly am seeing my relations around getting affected due to this behavior.Even now as i write this blog; not that i have grown out of that fear but still i am trying to live every moment of my life here and do all the things which i loved doing here..I know it shows me getting emotionally drained  here..but still this fear which i have seen in past some days in my life i hope will help me grow a lot stronger and humane in my life..

Love you friends..Love you MSRIT…Love you Life!

Hoping against a bad hope-

Aashu!

It just happen!!!!

“3 for 150”..”3 for 150”..screamed a face which was almost covered by the crowd around him..His voice grew stronger with increase in number of customers at his stall which was located on the roadside.Aryan was amazed to see the whole lane lit of the Mehendi bazaar.It was the eve of last day before Ramzan.Every business in that lane looked to make the most profitable sales on this eve.And yes it could all be seen with a number of discounts and free offers.Add to this the roadside vendors were offering goods at throw away prozes.Aryan was accompanied by his Eeshaan who lived across Mehendi bazaar.”Every year this sight is the most that I love”,said Eeshaan.”Its not that we don’t celebrate other festivals;but this evening has its own significance.Today everyone from the family steps out to buy things for themselves.Be it a kurta or salwaar,dry fruit or shewayya for the surkumba,everything is bought with so much enthusiasm”.”Ya I am seeing it for the first time and trust me Eeshaan I am simply amazed by this sight;look at that old man selling those perfumes,looks like he wants to fill city with fragrance with all those perfumes in the glittering colourful bottles around him,even look at your fren Farhaan in his cloth shop;he s looking as cheerful as ever shoeing all the customers the best pieces of cloth he has.If I would have missed today,guess I would have really missed.Thanks to your bike which broke down and you had a SOS to me to pick you up from here”.

Aryan and Eeshaan were not exactly the best of frenz exactly a year ago.Infact both almost sported radical ideas in their approach towards life and their religion.Both were in the same college during their technical graduation course.And after a particular incident where Aryan had saved Eeshaan from getting suspended from the college they came close to each other.But this closeness too was cut short as Aryan had to leave to Mumbai for his post graduation course and Eeshaan stayed back in his city to join his Abba s grinding machine industry.But often during their vacations they would meet up and hang out together.This day too was one of those days where Eeshaan s bike had choked and best person he could ask for help was Aryan whom he was supposed to meet after an hour.Now both of them were walking through Mehendi Bazaar which was synonymous to “Anarkali bazaar” in Pakistan.It was filled with articles like bangles,bindis,exotic perfumes and this day was the best day to be there.

The street was crowded fully and there was little place was anyone to walk through comfortably.”I will just tell Ghani chacha to send someone from his garage to pick my bike from my house and repair;meanwhile you keep walking down I ll join you”,said Eeshaan.After a few steps Aryan could see the cops putting divider boards in the middle of the road.This was normally done to keep an eye on everyone on the street;it helped them in monitoring.So people on the road were pushed to the end of the road on either sides.Before he could make himself ready for the rapid shifting that was being done the cops pushed him on one side .He stepped on the plastic sheet on the road thus losing his balance he crashed into a person wearing a jet black burkha.His forehead collided with her left shoulder.She suddenly turned towards him.All he could see was lit up eyes behind the face covered burkha ,which were looking at him with anger as if he had done the act with all “Noble” intentions.Aryan exclaimed,”sorry sorry I jus lost my balance.Looking at his face which almost turned white with the fear for getting hit by people for misbehaving with a girl wrinkles appeared beside her eyes looking at which he understood she had smiled and a smile meant she had not taken him in the wrong way.But there were larger problems ahead.The street grew closer to a bottle neck which meant it was a single line through which both of them had walk one behind the other ;and to add to all this chaos the pushing of people from behind reminded Aryan of Mumbai locals.Inspite of the jerks from the people behind him Aryan kept distance from her nota allowing his body to touch even a bit.In the 5 minute walk to the end of the street the gal was amazed to see how this guy behind her kept a distance from her. He kept his eyes on her looking that she was walking safe.When the end of the street came and she passed the bottleneck channel she turned behind and looked at him.”Shukriya”,she said in possibly the sweetest voice he had ever heard.He just kept looking at those eyes and in few moments he was lost in them.The girl took a left walked away into the crowd.Just then he heard a voice which was calling him from far end of the road.It was Eeshaan who was standing outside the Kurta Store.Aryan moved towards store where Eashaan was looking at best kurtas in the whole of the bazaar.Try helping me to pick one,he said.Reluctantly Aryan started looking at the kurtas kept on the table.In his mind he still was lost in those eyes and word shukriya echoed on all four sides.Just then he heard,”Give that cream kurta which has a black lining on the front end”.Yes it was the same voice which was echoing in his mind from past few minutes.Again all he could do was look at those eyes trying to know what was so special about them.”Now Aryan will you pick one for me, I am really getting late”,Eeshaan said.”Give me that cream kurta which has a black lining on the front end”,Aryan asked person who was showing them kurtas in that table.Eeshaan exclaimed”I already have 3 of that colour,don’t want to buy one more of that colour.”.Its for me replied Aryan.You can buy any colour you want.”Oh k “said Eeshaan stuffed a black kurta in the shopkeepers hand and said “Pack it soon”.Meanwhile Aryan kept looking at the girl who was at the cash counter paying the bill.Eeshaan called out”Oye Mr.Aryan; come here and pay for your kurta.”Till Aryan and Eeshaan reached the counter the girl had gone.Soon after dropping Eeshaan home,he reminded Aryan “Ammi has asked you to come home tomorrow by 12 for lunch.Dont be late you ll miss out on the sweet which you like so much.”Aryan nodded and left.To say,he was simple lost in the “shukriya world”.

On the festive day Aryan arrived at Eeshaan s place wearing the brand new kurta he had purchased the previous day.He came in and greeted Eeshaan and his parents who were waiting for him.They all knew him as the guy who had saved Eeshaan from suspension.Both of them had the delicious surkumba which was served in large steel bowls by Eeshaan s mother.Four bowls of sweet and Aryan had his tummy filled to the limit.Then soon both of them moved to Eeshaan s room where they were all eager to watch the India Australia cricket match which was being played in Eden Gardens Kolkata.India had won the toss and decided to bat first.Like all Indians who s adrenaline pumps when Sachin faces Lee same was the case with both Eesh and Aryan.Just 2 overs into the match and both the openers Sachin and Sehwag had started blasting Aussie pacemen all over the park.Both frenz were jumping and shouting around as if they themselves were in Kolkata stands.Soon there was a knock at the window of the room.Eeshaan moved and opened the window.”Can you please stop shouting and lower the volume Eeshaan; I have my exams tomorrow” came the voice.Aryan too looked at the window pane only to synchronize the voice and shimmering eyes of the previous evening.He tried his best to reach the window to see who was it.Just before he reached the pane Eesh shut it and again all that Aryan could see were those black eyes which had looped him the previous evening.Suddenly he acted all normal and asked Eeshaan,”Who is that gal? Never seen her before around?”…She s Afreen.Our distant relative from Ahmedabad.During the riots she lost her father and few months back she moved here with her mother to the house above.Her mother works in a bank and she is giving her B.Ed exams externally.With all relatives here her mother finds our city safe it seems.She keeps telling that one final job she ll finish off and stay peaceful all her life in our neighborhood.Anyways why waste time talking about them lets just enjoy Sachin keep these arrogant aussies at bay.

Soon after India s innings was over Aryan had to leave;but one thing kept troubling him.The face which had made him almost restless had just eluded him by a moment today.He came out of the house and as soon as he kicked to started his bike,he s leg slipped off the kick bar and it rebounded.”Oh Shit Oh shit”..shouted Aryan in pain.Soon then he heard a laugh from the balcony above the house.He could see a fair girl with curled earrings long hair let down standing and laughing out loud.She had worn a sky blue salwar which was of lucknowi material.And yes those were the same eyes which he was thinking about all through.Her beauty made him still for a few seconds.He stood there looking at her laugh with a smile of “cute boy” on his face.After this brief beauty encounter he started his bike and moved.All through the way he kept smiling at himself.He was smitten by Afreen s beauty.Only thing he could see around him was her face and hear was her laughter.Soon he talked to himself and said..It just happen.

That day in the evening he had to get back to Mumbai.As he got into the bus and sat after bidding a good bye to his parents he started dreaming about the girl.He did not know what she had done to him, but everything he saw,thought,felt was she around him.Even after reaching Mumbai,he would often go dazed and lost in his class.Th guy who was hyperactive in all activities was found wandering alone in canteen and corridors.He kept telling his frenz about the whole incident with Afreen,the gal who had stolen his heart.He kept repeating the episode again and again to his frenz.Being a great artist himself he had drawn several sketches of her face.Infact in a sketch he had shown her face in different moods.Soon he was famous as “Lover Boy “in his college.All he talked was about Afreen;but everyone wondered…this guy hasn talked to her,spent time with her…still he s so much into her.Barely a month later Aryan had almost prepared himself to go to his hometown and meet her and tell her how much he loves her.Being strong and as practical as possible he was also ready to give her time if she wanted  for the reply.

He reached his city and soon drove his bike that morning right to the street adjacent to her house and walked.As he walked he saw Eeshaan step out of his house.”Hey Aryan..suprise surprise..how come you here..at this time…today!!!”Aryan wasn prepared to answer all these questions.He soon took Eeshaan to the play ground nearby and told him his love story.For a second Eeshaan was shocked to core, he couldn believe the most practical and sensible guy of his college could go crazy on gal whom he had just seen once.After Aryan was done he spoke” I think you should go back to Mumbai and not waste any more time on this.”Aryan questioned” Why u sayin so”..whats the issue tell me..i know she and me are from different religion but I can convince both our parents if she agrees.”…Theres no question of bloody convincing anyone..just forget it…eeshaan shouted.

After the storm calmed down Eesh sat beside Aryan and told what all had happen..

Afreen s marriage was fixed to an accountant in Eeshaan s company.But one of the guys working in Ghani chacha s garage had a thing for her.He kept following her everywhere she went in the city.He also had approached her but she had clearly denied any talk with him.That guy was one of those slimy uneducated uncouth people staying in the same street as she.As soon as he came to know about Afreen s marriage he went wild.He and his frenz beat her groom a week before marriage and threatened him not to marry Afreen.Groom refused to marry stating his reason as he had seen Afreen and the guy going around the city.This brought down her image in the entire society.Everyone started cursing her and often those garage guys used to comment cheap on her.So one day morning her mother couldn find her in house.On her bed was a letter folded inwards.Afreen had left the city and fled.She had written that she couldn take flak she received from the society and even her mother wasn capable of supporting her.So she had applied for a job and fortunately she had got it.She had left all of us and just gone away.Her mother still awaits a letter from Afreen about here whereabouts.After that I also found my scrapbook missing.I thought she would atleast contact me..but no news yet.Just hope she is safe.Anyways Aryan I think you have a great future mate don’t let it go.Get back to Mumbai and concentrate on your studies.

Aryan came back to Mumbai very next day.The moment he came into his room he burst out into tears.He had he sketches all over his room.He could feel wat the girl would have undergone after everything happen to her.Whole nite he kept sobbing in his bed without opening the door of his room for an entire day.Next day he decided to get over it and begin his life in a much better and strong way.He looked at his in the mirror ;he s eyes were bulged and looked weak.He got ready and  stepped outside his room and walked into the crowd moving towards his college.He was just as normal as he was when he had joined the college.A month passed by and it was time for the college annual fest.Aryan was incharge of the whole fest.He used to leave his room early and get back late.One evening when he came back to his room he found a box lying outside the door.It was wrapped with a red paper and seemed heavy.He immediately opened the cover and found a round glazed mug which was had words written on it..”To someone who always cared for someone from the someone was cared “..also written was the address of the sender..It read Miss.Afreen Teacher  Indian High School Bandra Mumbai…Very next day in the morning he took a bus to Bandra  with a bag which had all her sketches in it and most importantly he had worn THE KURTA from where it had all begun!!!

ashwath

Performances lost in loss!!!

From past few months i ve seen movies in which i have seen some mindblowing performances by actors/actresses..but they i guess they couldn fetch great laurels coz the movie was a flop…I short the performances were lost in the loss of the movie…..

1.Madhuri Dixit in the movie Lajja–This is one movie which i believe saw lot of amazin performances going unnoticed..Out of which Madhuri s was the best! Sply the scene in which she potrays Sita on stage who has to undergo angeepareeksha she was top notch..i still feel the questions she raises in that are valid and i am still searchin for answers for those..All in all a performance which would have surely fetched her another national award after Mrityudand….

http://videos.desishock.net/31528/Madhuri-Dixit-(Lajja-part-13)

2.Manisha Koirala in the movie Lajja–Again speakin about this movie..Manisha Koirala plays the charecter of Vaidehi, who walks out on her husband and finds that she is not the only one who has been opressed. The story is told through her eyes as the narrator.But he best act comes in the end where she shouts “Lajja aati hai”..trust me i had seen this movie in a theatre and i was shaken by that climax…It is truly manisha at her best after Khamoshi….

3.Irrfan in Ghaath–I remember watchin this movie when i was in 7th std..on local channel..Manoj Bajpai and Om puri star in this movie which speaks about Mumbai land mafia..and yeah Irrfan was as scary as Gabbar of sholay..With his Character “Mamu”..i believe he carved a niche for himself as the sensitive cold blooded villain.Even in the climax he monologue by him is flawless..yes Irrfan..u had arrived in bollywood.

4.Aishwarya Rai and Ajay Devgan in Raincoat–If anyone s seen this Ghosh s movie which is an adaption of a Bengali short story u ll see how with minimal sets and screenplay effective performances can be etched out to the core..Be someone as classy as Ajay or prolific as Aish..both gave out their best acts..but couldn save the movie from sinkin at box office..the seen where they lie about their financial statuses is truly touchin..none other than seasoned actors like these two would have pulled off a role like this…